So...
One of my greatest challenges is the feeling of being under a microscope in ways greater than "before", because living under a microscope pretty much comes with the territory of being a pastor. But now, it feels amplified many times over.
Not in general, as if everyone is staring - though I do feel that at times too. NO, would you like to know where/how...? By the "religious police". Those that are: holding stones...looking for ammo...not feeling the grace thing...etc... And, I don't feel this overall, as in every area of my life - but it's in one area in particular. It's where God is speaking life back into me again... And, it's specifically in scripture - believe it or not.
How so?
Well, I feel like I have a handle on "what I've done". Trust me - the feelings/thoughts that have been a part of my life the last few weeks are not pretty. So, I think I've got the whole "you really screwed up" thing down...It's called sin - not a screw up - yup - got it...
Now, concerning scripture. I (like you) feed on the Word - its the subjective voice of God for each of us. It's "daily bread". And now that I'm trying to rebuild/recreate/restart/redo...it's not the "you're going to hell now" scriptures that help me. I've read them & dealt with that with God - and am still dealing with it ongoing.
Rather, it's the: there's Hope in Jesus...Jesus forgives...Don't quit...etc...These are the scriptures that are now helping me actually believe again...
Here's the rub - when I want to share a scripture that is helping me - I hear in my heart the "religious police" saying things like: He didn't read far enough...he left the next part out on purpose...he didn't include all of it...etc...
So, I'm struggling w/in myself in this area. Do I let people know what God's saying to a sinner to help them rebuild their life from ruin at the risk of offending the "religious police" or do I say nothing to not offend & also not have the potential of helping...
Still not with me?
John 3:16, 17 says For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
But keep reading v. 20, 21 says For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God."
See what I mean? I'm personally reading it all - I get it...But the one that is helping me rebuild is the loved me & is not condemning me stuff now...
So, at the risk of offending the "religious police" or those that don't want me to forget...or can't forgive...or feel as though it's too early for God to be good to me - I'll share.
Just in case another fallen comes along & needs to know that when their world truly falls apart... There is a Grace that is sufficient...
That where sin did abound - Grace did much more abound...
There is a God that still loves...
There is Hope in Jesus...
So...
Another step...
3 comments:
yo
Personally, I like the beauty from ashes scripture....once you fall, if that is the end of the story...we should all just go home. This is your chance. You and Shawn to give the rest of us sinners a chance to learn true hope in Jesus...how to be overcomers. You and Shawn are the only reason I live in virginia still...you Pastor Bob are one of the greatest teachers, yes i said teachers (not preachers) I have ever met. Your loyalty had been a friend to my family. who gets to decide how long we stay down when we fall anyway? Thank you for this blog....Thank you for your candid heart. Truth is the first step in healing.-AC
Bob, I just started reading these this evening, so I apologize for a "delayed response". However, I know where you are, because I have been there too. I know the pain and the condemnation that we put on ourselves can be even worse than what others put on us. I encourage you to continue to seek the scriptures of love, grace, mercy etc.... It's a true healing process, but it does come in receiving the love of Jesus Christ. We can get stuck in the condemning, anger, hurt, and shame, and the list goes on and on, God's word is hope, cling to those words of hope my friend. Keep taking those steps you are taking, I only hope and continue to pray that those steps are bringing you closer to the cross and into deeper relationship with God.
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