Feb 8, 2012

Is Facebook Real?




Is FB real?  Is it symbolic?  Is it representative of life?

It's just something I've been tossing around for a while...actually - quite a while.

So, writing some of my thoughts will help me process 'em.  Also, I might get some feedback on it as well.

So.

Is it real or not?  Does it represent real life friends or is it some electronic place that is not like life at all.

Obviously, I don't mean is it real, as in, is it really there.  Of course, it's real in that regard.

What I mean is: How much does it, or doesn't it, represent "friendships" that really do, or don't, exist in life.

Simply meaning - does friends on FB = friends in life?

For example, the ability to "rate" or categorize your friends list on FB.  You can put someone in "acquaintances" "friends" "close friends" or, of course, "family".  Oh yea, I forgot, they can be automatically categorized into the "city" you live in too.  That makes it so easy.  So, the catagorizing ability, is that real?  What's your philosophy for deciding the category they go into?  Is it related to actually how much you do or don't like them?  Or is it related to their posts?

I mean, what if they put you into the acquaintances category...and you put them into the "close friend" category.  Does that matter?  You thought you were close friends - they think you're only acquantinces.  Is that real?  Does it matter?  Or, is it no big deal at all.  Just wondering.

Also.

The ability to delete...unsubscribe...OR even block some people.  I just learned about the latter...to be honest - that's funny to me.  To go to the length of "typing in their FB name" so they won't see you & you won't see them = funny.  But, it must be real.  It certainly warrants the question, even more, is that real?  Not the "ooooohhhh, I blocked you"...rather, the "really...you're taking it that serious - so it must be real."

But, the easier one - "unsubscribe".  You can "unsubscribe" & "they don't know".  They, whoever they are, still think they are your friend...but you don't "subscribe" to their stuff anymore.  It's like a secret "no harm - no foul" thingy.  They think there's more to it than there really is...but, you know that's not the case.  Is that real or not?

I get the "unsubscribe" from some people for sure.  Some people put their entire life on here & I don't want to know all of that about you...it's TMI x10.  I mean, it's not like we would have all that info flying around at Starbucks if we were talking, would we?  Or, when some people "update their status", I feel like someone either puked on my computer or sent some "R rated" message to me.  I just don't want to have all that "in my face".  I get that.  Hence, unsubscribe.

Or, some people "can't be found" on FB.  You know they are in there...see their stuff from time to time - but they don't want to be found.  Is that real?  Do they need some "social counseling" because they "stay to themselves too much"?  Or is it - just FB stuff.

Another funny.  Some "non friend" posting on your cloud.  That = game.  That = funny.

Now, for us (Shawn & me) & our extremely difficult & complex FB etiquette.

You may or many not know that FB was something we detested for many reasons for the last few years.  However, eventually we gave in & ventured into the big social media thing via FB & wow, are we glad we did.

It's been so good for us.  Seriously, it's been great.

We have re-connected with so many people - that we had no ability to do so with before.  Many have "become" friends on FB...on this alone, I'm not sure how real it is - but we take it as being pretty real.  Symbolic, at least, of some positive gesture that mean something good to us.  We've noted many people that have "friended" us.  Also, we don't really think about or worry about "those that don't"...we don;t have enough time nor energy to worry about that silliness.

But, we have ONE FB rule that we pretty much live by.

We don't friend request anyone...

Yep, we don't "request a friendship" anyone.  (NOTE - we have done this 2 or 3 times on VERY specific situations).  Real or not, in this regard, we have treated FB as being real.  What I mean is, if we see you in life, we don't know where you are in "wanting to be our (my) friend or not, so, unless you say hi...come across the room...make some positive gesture, we just don't go there.  So, in that regard - it's real for us.  We have held to that "rule" in FB.  It just seems right for both us...and probably for others as well.

Is FB real or, Is it symbolic?  Does it represent the people in, or not in, our life.  If we are or aren't friends on FB - are the same in life?

Do we employ that much thinking to it?

Or, is FB just some really cool & easy way of staying up with people you care about enough to stay in touch with at some level...no more & no less.  And, for others, you just don't want to know their life status or info.  I mean - it might really be nothing more & nothing less than social media.

hmmmmmmmmm

Anyway - I am really writing this to get some feedback from others.  So - let me/us know how seriously you do or don't take FB & all the intricacies involved.

hit comments & share your FB thoughts...

b

3 comments:

Julie said...

Great post! I think I have pondered most of these thoughts at some point. I consider it, as you stated, a social media tool that allows for different levels of communication. I can efficiently keep in touch with, reach out and communicate with people near and far at my leisure and discretion. FB is real... just like everything else ~ it is humans that make it crazy. :-)

Amy said...

Well, I have expressed some of those same concerns before. If you have 1000 friends on facebook..is it real? Do those friends call/text you routinely to see how you are? If you were in dire straights would those friends be there? Do you want to text/phone those friends? I think FB can be a great tool for "keeping in touch", but not for nurturing a lasting, real friendship. I personally think friendship that takes a lot more work than posting your status and having a few people "like" it. So to sum it up, FB is fun...but if you want "real" pick up the phone or get in your car and go meet your friend face to face and have a "real' conversation.

G said...

Julie & Amy...agree on both. It's a great tool to keep in touch with some people you don't get to hang out with on a regular basis. It's also not meant to replace really hanging out with some of those same friends. For us - it def helps us feel more connected to a bigger friendship circle...it's been great "connecting" with some people we miss. Thanks for replying...