The COST of Credibility...Can I Be Trusted?

Now, some more nitty gritty talk about the COST of my sins...

Specifically, the cost of ministry credibility & the ability to trust me again.

1st regarding whether or not I'll have a credible ministry again or not.

It seems there are 2 completely opposite schools regarding whether or not I should ever be in ministry again...Perhaps, I should say that I am familiar with there being 2 groups.

The group on one side - believe I get another chance at ministry.

The group on the other side, think my time is over...I no longer have a right to be in ministry.

1 group believes God's grace is the same for a me as it is anyone else.  The other group believes that the accountability is different & once I sinned, I lost my right to ever be in ministry again.

And I have to say, the lines are drawn.  There is no gray between the 2 opinions.  There is no switching sides...the sides are set & they are adamantly opposed to one another.  It's like the Hatfield's & McCoys...they not only disagree...it's not stretching it to say, some on one side don't even like those on the other side - all because of which side they are on regarding Bob.  I'm not talking about the public, or the un-churched...I'm talking about those in the church...

NOTE - Regarding those in the church & those not, they see 2 different stories played out as well.  One side sees my, or our, story as HOPE...then the other side, I simply gave them more ammo to the HYPOCRISY in the church.  Again, both are valid - depending on which side you are looking from.

So ya know, I've studied both sides...both are equally convinced that they are right.  As for me, I know which side I've always fell on with ANYONE, whether it was friends...family...staff... or ministers...it's nothing new, I've always been a grace giver...always will be.  However, it seems that receiving it (or allowing yourself to receive it) is a whole different story than giving it.

Both of these groups are comprised of friends...family...ministers...as well as people I've never met.  I can't argue for or against either side...I take it as it is now.  It's part of the COST.

But...I think that there's another issue at hand in this too.

And that's trust.

To me, Credibility & Trust, are like brothers...they go hand in hand.

Can I be trusted?  Will I sin again?  Is it only a matter of time - before something happens again?  These are NOW all valid questions.

As we all know, trust is a fragile thing.  Once broken, with anyone, it's hard to earn back.  And truth is, some never do and/or some never get the chance.

That's where I think a lot of people really land - can Bob be trusted...or "do I want to trust Bob again?"...or they just never go there - meaning trust was broken - end of story.  Truth is, trust has been broken, & with some, I'll never have a chance of earning it back at any level...not only in ministry, but at any friendship level as well.

That's the COST of my sins.  I gave all rights up to ask/expect/want people to trust me - ever again.

When you are a people person, like I am, that's where the loss is felt most in this area...knowing that there are people, once close to me...once in this together...once trusting me...& I ruined all that.  Knowing that, with many people I honestly care deeply about, there will not be a Sunday visit to see what's going on at Genesis...because of...Bob.

Though, yes, I was a full blown sinner...that doesn't mean my heart was all bad, or that I didn't or don't care about people that were in my life.  Actually, that would make it easier - having a cold & hardened heart...then I really wouldn't care or feel anything in this regard.  But, that's not what I feel at all...I feel loss.

So.

To the group that has taken the risk of trusting me again...or that has offered me a 2nd chance...Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I have learned that each & every one of you in my life (& Shawn's) is a gift...given back to me (us).  It remains to be seen what it will all mean...or why God allowed me to do this again...

To the others, it still kills me to know the hurt I caused so many of you.  I can't argue for my cause...as a matter of fact, I haven't & won't.  I don't think I have that right.  If you choose to come into my, or our, life at any level, I will cherish that opportunity.  If you choose not to, I understand.  I have to do my best to honor that, as part of the cost...to remind myself that I did this & you didn't...AND keep moving forward realizing this is how it will be - forever.

That's the COST of my sins regarding the ministry I feel God has called us back into.  It shows up at times on Sundays, when for whatever reason, I hope one of ya might come out...to see what God is up to...yet deep within, I know you're not coming at all.  It's part of the COST.

So, though God has been gracious enough to pick me up & allow me back into ministry...it will never be the same...ever.  It doesn't mean it will be ineffective or that it doesn't matter...it simply means it will never be the same.  It's part of the COST.

(Note - I fully expect Genesis to be an incredible ministry.  It already is - we are experiencing that every Sunday...God is definitely with us - again.)

peace

b

ps - I loved being your Pastor & I hate that I will never be that again...that's what I'm trying to say.

The COST in my Marriage. I Love you Babe.

Ironically, I thought that writing these blogs on COST would come quite easy...well, the 1st one - yes...so far, the rest - not so much.

So...I'll try for the xth time to write the 2nd COST...my marriage.

Yet, it's hard to go back to innumerate cost - because my marriage NOW is SO good...in wonderful ways.

But, at the same time, this blog series, is partly saying "this is the cost - don't do it."  So, I'd be amiss if I didn't talk about the cost of my sin in my marriage.

What did my sin cost me, Shawn & my marriage?

I think I'll get further by naming the areas I destroyed...rather than trying to explain them.  So, most of these will simply be line items...they speak for themselves.

The COST:

I destroyed Shawn's trust in me as her husband & as a man.  Rather than protecting her (in all sense of the word) I deeply hurt her (in all senses of the word).  I'll never forget what that felt like.

I crushed her heart.  The heart that is so full of love for me - that one.

I embarrassed her with all the people that knew us & even those that didn't.

I demeaned her as a lady.  She's never been anything but a lady.

I took her esteem & threw it out with my sin.

I devalued her as the mother of my children.

My actions, speaking louder than words, told her she was not loved.

I placed a big fat question mark over our entire marriage.

I jaded her.

I made her cry.

I made her sad.

I lied to her - many times over.

I'm sure if she was doing the typing right now, the list wouldn't end...but I think I'll end here.

So...

Where are we now?  Here's the irony...we, now, have the greatest marriage we have ever had - period.

We just celebrated our 25th anniversary...that's a miracle!

We worked through some extremely tough conversations...until healing was found.

We learned to be friends.

We do life together now.

We renewed our vows.

We are closer than ever - in all sense of the word.

Everything that was lost has been restored...and then some.

We are connected now at an intimate level within.

We know how to find the peace & work until we do.

We are in love.

We celebrate our love.

Our home is full of laughter...life...love...

We live in the light.

We honor each other in meaningful ways.

We are both happy & participate to make each other happy.

So...

Do I regret being such a crappy husband for so many years...absolutely.

But, truth is, God has helped me find healing in a place it never existed before.  That happened because of Shawn's incredible love...A God sent counselor...Some friends who never gave up on me/us...God's grace.  I am not that man I used to be...I am not the husband I was for so long...

I wish I could undo all the things I did...I can't.  But, I am so grateful that we made it through...

The best is yet to come.

Thanks babe.

I Love you.

b

The COST of Friends...I Miss You Guys

This blog can now be found at my new site - Journey

Here's the link to it thanks for reading it...mark the new site...

The COST...of Sin...My Sin...

So...

Lately a series of Blogs has been running through my brain regarding the cost of sin...in particular - my sin...

So, for the next several blogs I'll be writing about exactly that - the realized cost of my sin.

1st, I want to address nothing more than the subject of COST.

As idiotic as it may sound or seem, it's something you either never consider or you think you can cheat...or get away with...something like that anyway.  You just never really consider ALL the costs associated with the cost.  You never really think through all the costs...I'm not sure you can.  Maybe even if you do/could, you again lie to yourself & think you'll be able to cheat it again or something...I don't know - all I know is if you really really knew all the ways your sin would end up costing you - I don't think you could ever come to the conclusion of it being worth it.  Maybe that's part of the sin, it finds ways to lie to you...deceive you...lull you into a sleep...something, again, I'm not really sure.

The costs have been horrendous to be blunt.  And, horrendous is not a word that over states it either.

Some of the realized tangible costs have been:

Marriage.

Home.

Family.

Friends.

Public image.

Ministry.

Minister friends.

Opportunities.

Income.

Security.

Some of the Non-tangible costs:

Confidence.

Credibility.

Fearful.

Trust.

Uncertainty.

Second guessing.

Suspicious.

Love.

Joy.

Peace.

Harmony.

Note - this is not an exhaustive list.  It simply represents some of the things that are on my heart at this moment of the journey.  I'll take several of these in the days ahead & elaborate on them accordingly.  I'm not sure if I'll cover all of them or some of them.  But, it's definitely safe to say, that some of these are really on my heart & will definitely be covered in some detail.

I'm not really sure why some of them have gotten so heavy in my heart of late, but they have.  As this blog has largely been a part of the Journey I have taken towards healing & restoration...I feel that's part of what this is all about - healing.  Whether it's some things I need to say for myself or for others to hear, I'm not sure...time will tell.

peace

b

Labels Tell the Biggest Lie (by Mike Foster)

A blog I copied from Mike Foster (People of the Second Chance)

My dignity as Abba's child is my most coherent sense of self-- Brennan Manning

In January 1998, Monica Lewinsky found herself in way over her head. Her face was on the front page of every newspaper, and each new day seemed to bring one more humiliation.  She was 25 years old – and caught in a presidential sex scandal.  She had no idea what was coming.

Today, at the age of 38, she’s still caught.  Single, alone, and running out of options, she’s the butt of jokes, the object of stares – the easy sexual punchline.  Seventeen years later. 

Most of us are not former presidential interns.  Most of us haven’t had our decisions scrutinized by pundits and talk-show hosts.  And most of us haven’t had an affair with the most powerful man on the planet. We’re nothing like Ms. Lewinsky.  Or are we?

How many of us live with embarrassment about secrets that got out?  Or betrayal from past lovers and friends?  Or fear that someone will recognize us as a fraud?  Or hopelessness, brought on by repeated failures?  I’m willing to bet Ms. Lewinsky knows what that’s like, and I’m willing to bet more than a few of us do too. 

Those of us caught in embarrassment, betrayal, fear, and hopelessness are living with a label that lies.We live branded by things that happened years – maybe even decades – before. And as a society, we are 100% percent OK with letting that label stick.  

Maybe you’ve heard or said things like:

“He’s the pastor that...”

“Isn’t she the one that...”

“Remember, he's the pervert youth pastor that...”

In our desperate need to understand each other and place people in context, we attach permanent labels – usually from the dirtiest and most controversial part of the story.  Sometimes the label is attached to others, and sometimes it is a label we believe about ourselves.  Either way, the label lies, strips away our complex humanity, and falls short of describing who we really are.    

Grace is the second chance that erases labels for others, and it’s the permission to move on that we give ourselves. And yet, grace is so scarce.  It’s disappearing, and its disappearance is leaving an army of wounded “has-beens” and “screw-ups” in its wake. 

In grace’s absence, we instead choose to label.  Our culture thrives on devouring the Monica’s, the Haggard’s, and the Michael Vick’s, replaying their past mistakes for a quick fix of pleasure and entertainment. It makes us feel good to think that people have flaws worse than ours; it feeds the insecurity caused by our own labels.

So what can we do?  For one thing, we can stop kicking people when they’re down.  We can start skipping the water cooler, deleting the emails, and raising our voice on behalf of second chances.  When someone seeks to label another soul, we can speak up on their behalf.

We can start risking our own “personal brand” to encourage the downtrodden and defend life’s outcasts. In fact, People of the Second Chance was started to do just that – tear down the labels of a Vulture Culture and replace them with a culture of grace and second chances. 

Of course, this is all utterly impossible if we can’t rediscover our own identity in grace.  Giving someone a second chance starts with giving ourselves a second chance.  It means stripping away the labels that we wear and finding the truth of who we are in grace.  I’m sorry, but you can’t give what you haven’t first received. The strength to forgive others and forgive ourselves comes from finding our identity as the one God forgave first.  In the face of that grace, labels are shattered.  In the face of that grace, dehumanization crumbles.  And in the face of that grace, someone like Monica Lewinsky stops being the punchline.

Mike Foster is the Co-Founder/Executive Director of People of the Second Chance and is the author of Gracenomics: Unleash the Power of Second Chance Living.

Are Ya Feeling Good About the Life You're Living?

A principle guidance system God placed in our life is "Actions Produce Feelings".

Now, I'm 48, and that's not what my generation grew up on.  We grew up with the saying, "If it feels good - do it".  And the assumption with this was also, "If it doesn't - then don't".

IE - Let your feelings kind of be your guide...

The only problem with this is - that's just not how God created us.  He created us quite the opposite actually.  He created us so that our actions would produce feelings...those feelings in turn should help guide us in reinforcing or correcting certain actions.

What I mean is, when we act right, we are going to feel right & when we don't, we won't.  It's that simple...yet, its profound.

Consider this as an example.

When we want to lose weight or to get in better shape.  Once we decide we need to get in better shape, we now have some sort of goal(s) that come with it.  Whether it's to eat better...stop eating certain junk foods or types of foods...exercise...etc.  So, we decide we are going to change our lifestyle.

OK - here we go.  We wake up Monday & are going to go to the gym.  Only - we don't "feel" like it, so we don't.  Now (pay attention here) our actions (or inaction in this case) of not going to the gym are now going to not only produce a certain set of feelings, like failure & disappointment...they are also going to reinforce the feelings we gave into - of not wanting to get our butt up & out of bed.  Do you see the reinforcing loop set up?  We didn't feel like it & so we didn't.  Now our actions are going to produce negative feelings & in turn, will make it even harder to break the cycle on Tuesday.  Feelings followed will only be reinforced by the actions from them...like a snake coiling tighter around us all the time...

Let's suppose we did get up.  We went to the gym, got our workout on...sweated...felt like we made a baby step in the right direction.  Needless to say - we are going to walk out of the gym, feeling pretty good about ourselves...Actions produce feelings.  Also, our actions will help negate the negative feelings...


Let's change gears.

Not only does actions produce feelings, we can't feel good about acting wrong.  It's not going to happen.  Again, it's God's way of trying to guide us to doing right, specific to our values.  So, if you are not acting right - in ANY area of life - there is NO WAY you are going to feel good about it.  It's not going to happen - period.

So...

Here's the deal.  As we act right - we will feel right.  Anytime we act wrong (don't act on our right impulses) we are going to feel wrong.  If you are not feeling good about some area of life - perhaps it's God's way of trying to get your attention.  The more you act right according to your convictions & values - the more you'll feel right about your life.

It doesn't matter if it's "public or private" or "known or not known"...you will either feel right or wrong about how you're living your life in EACH & EVERY area...

Follow the peace...

b

What's the Score? Winning or Losing?

What's the score?  Specifically - in the game of life.

What I mean is - do you have an overall feeling of winning or losing in life?  I think it's something we all have a feeling for...somewhere deep within - I'm not sure if it's felt - like in our heart or soul...or if it's known somewhere in our mind.  No matter, we have a sense of how we are doing...

I guess part of knowing is in how we personally keep score.  Again, whether we know it or not, we all keep some type of score in life.

I think we all have some sort of value system...IMO - it's pretty personal/subjective...unique even.

What I mean, we all have a personal list of what we REALLY care about...for some it's a few things & for others it's a lot of things.  But, it's those things on the list that we use to score how we are doing, specific to our life & not compared to anothers'.

I think we survey all the pieces (all the things on the list), add them up within & tally a score.  That score is what gives us some sense of winning or losing.

The challenge - score it right...score things that matter most...major in the majors...don't allow things that really matter most to get lost behind things that really don't matter at all...know the score at all times & know when to make some adjustment in whatever area needed.

So, if you have this feeling in the pit of your gut that says "something is not working right"...then, find out what it might be tied to & adjust accordingly.

God has a wonderful plan for each of our lives...we find it when we follow the peace He gives us - somewhere within that feels like "winning or losing" in life.  I think He places this internal guidance system within that is meant to guide us to the abundant life...follow the peace.

b

Where's the Beef?

k...

well here's the deal.

I recently read a book "The China Study", that is all about nutrition.  It specifically addresses heart disease, cancer & diabetes & how they are possibly related to our diet.  The big aha of the book is, you need to quit eating meat & become a vegetarian.  The book's research is so solid & convincing that I am actually going to give this a try.

So, here's where I am on it so far.

I've tried to eat nothing but food that qualifies as vegetarian during the day.  IE breakfast, lunch & anything else prior to dinner.  I also am trying to make anything after dinner vegetarian as well.  So, that leaves dinner as the biggest obstacle so far as to making this change.

I wouldn't say I've been great at it - yet, but I have made it several days like this so far...starting about 10 days ago.

There are two real challenge for me so far.

1 - Milk is a huge no-no from the research in this book.  I love milk.  I love butter.  I love a big glass of milk with chocolate chip cookies made with real butter.  It's hard to think about no milk...no butter...no milk anything again.

2 - I love beef...even more so - I love a big fat rib eye steak.  Though I don't have them often, it's hard to think about not having another - ever.  Not to mention all the other meat items currently the focus of every meal we eat for dinner.  So, when the "meat substitutes" vegetarians eat, are the option - not one of them has ran through my mind & made me feel even close to a "yes, now you're talking".

So, I'm not sure how to make the full swing to vegetarian eating.  However, after reading this book & knowing that I have some really good reasons to try to figure this out, I'm going to really give this a try.

I have no idea to really know how to make this a full time lifestyle...but I'm gonna try.

So, don't shoot me down if in a few weeks I'm eating a big fat rib eye... or enjoying a tall glass of milk with some freshly made chocolate chip cookies...just know I'm a vegetarian in recovery at that point.

I'll keep ya posted...

b

A Song for the Blog Below...

What Stories Are You Telling?

Something I've been really thinking about lately is about the stories we tell.

I don't mean stories as in lies...I mean in memories we share of the past.

You know, the stories you tell about your past...when you were growing up...things you remember something about...your crazy days...your endeavors...things you're proud of...things you almost died doing...blah blah blah...those things.

But, here's what I'm really thinking about - how old are the stories you tell.  I mean, what's the most recent story event that you have wanted to share with someone else?  Are most of the stories from a long time ago?  Or are they more recent in life?  Are they 5, 10, 15 years old?  Older?  Or, are they like "let me tell you what happened just last week...month...year...?

What's it matter, how old they are, anyway?

Maybe it doesn't...maybe it does.

I'm not sure if it matters...but it has me thinking - a lot.

If it doesn't matter, then apparently life has a way of calming us all down...taming us...to where we talk more about when we were younger than when we are older.  Or something like that...

Typically, the stories we share, are from moments in life we want to "keep alive" by talking about them.  I don't mean "keep alive" in some negative way - I mean, we want them to keep them alive, because that's how we felt when they really happened - ALIVE.  So, we keep them alive by telling them - again & again.

Good...Bad...Indifferent - we felt ALIVE in some capacity when they really happened.

What if most of our "I want to keep that memory alive" stories are pretty old?  Doesn't that mean to some degree that we quit living a little?

That's my take on it for me.  If most of my stories are from some time in the distant past...what happened?  Why am I not doing things now that are worth talking about?  Why am I not being crazy when it's time to be crazy?  Why am I not singing out loud...dancing like mad...running in the rain...Why am I not going after it & talking about it?  Why am I not taking risks, and then win or lose, talking about the risk?

It all hit me a couple weeks ago, when one of my kids let me know that they had heard me tell "that story" several times.  Then, later, while talking to Shawn, I asked "have I told you this?"..."Yes", she replied.  "Then why not stop me from telling you again?" I asked.  She said, "because you like to tell that story."   Again & again & again...

Well...

I'm looking for new stories to tell...new things to laugh at...I'm looking to live again in whatever area that  has quit living...that area where stories are worth replacing the "old ones".  I'm looking to take some risks again - in the area where fear has taken over...I'm going to identify the chains I've allowed to creep in on me & I'm getting them off.  I'm getting the Bucket List out in life & finding a way to start some new "have I told you the story about..."

I'm looking to fully live - again.

Yes, "Death has plucked my ear & said, LIVE, for I am surely coming."

It's time to take the leap & become fully alive...

New stories to follow...

Anyone want to come along?

peace

b

ps
to Shawn - I love you!  I look forward to our new stories...
to my kids - I love each of you in very special ways - I hope you dance!  live live live...

Up in Smoke (Not Cheech & Chong...)

I once heard a story about a man who was shipwrecked on an uninhabited island. Seeing that rescue might not happen for a long time, he painstakingly built a little hut to provide himself protection from the elements and a place to store the few items he had managed to salvage from the wreck. Every day he would prayerfully scan the horizon, hoping for the approach of a ship.

But he saw nothing.

Up in Smoke

Then one evening, after he had been out and about on the island, searching for food, he came back to see that his little hut was in flames. He tried to put out the fire, but it was too late. Everything he owned in this world had gone up in smoke. He went to sleep that night listening to the pounding of the surf, stunned by his own misfortune.

The next morning he awoke to find a ship anchored off the island—the first ship he had seen since he had been marooned. Still trying to believe his eyes, he heard footsteps, and then a human voice, saying, “We saw your smoke signal and we came to rescue you.”

That’s how it happens sometimes. In divine sovereignty and grace, the worst-case scenario somehow becomes the best-case scenario.

Disasters can turn out to be great opportunities for God to work in your life. The Lord is always present with us, always intimately acquainted with our circumstances, and He specializes in taking "impossible" situations and turning them around, for His glory and our benefit.

Below is an article written by Sean McDowell regarding the costs of porn.  It's a "Hard hat & safety glasses required" article.

Pornography is tearing apart the fabric of our society. You may think this is an overstatement. After reading, “The Social Costs of Pornography” by the Witherspoon Institute, I think it may be anunderstatement.

In 2008, the Witherspoon Institute sponsored the first multidisciplinary exploration of the social costs of pornography. Scholars from various fields including philosophy, psychology, and medicine were included in the forum. Every major shade of religious belief was represented, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, agnosticism, and atheism. And both the left and right in American politics were present. They all agreed that there is a substantial multidimensional, empirical record of the harms pornography brings to society. Obviously, such agreement is rare.

Today’s pornography is different from any in the past in three ways.

1. Accessibility.

The Internet has made porn ubiquitous.

2. Quality.

Today’s porn is much more hardcore.

3. Consumption.

Porn consumption has increased radically with the advent of the Internet. Sixty-nine percent of men and 10% of women report viewing pornography more than once a month. Eighty-seven percent of men admit using it in the past year. The researchers conclude, “In sum, there is evidence that more people—children, adolescents, and adults—are consuming pornography—sporadically, inadvertently, or chronically—than every before.”

How does pornography actually harm people? The researchers list a plethora of ways. Each of these points is supported with empirical evidence in the report. Keep in mind that these areobjective facts about pornographic consumption, not my subjective opinions.

• Those who view pornography overestimate how frequently certain sexual acts are actually practiced, which increases one’s willingness to do unconscionable things.
• Porn viewers physically map their brains based on the images they see. Pornographic consumption remaps the physical structure of the brain.
• Many men who view porn lose the ability to relate to or be close to women.
• Porn viewers become desensitized to the barrage of imagery, and as a result, child pornography and violent pornographic images often lose their ability to shock and disgust.
• Women often report distress and harm when discovering that their husbands view porn. They typically feel betrayal, loss, mistrust, devastation, and anger as a result of their partner’s behavior.
• Porn users have an increased likelihood of divorce and family break-up.
• Those who had an extramarital affair were three times more likely to have used Internet pornography than those who had not.
• Porn leads men to place less value on marital fidelity and more value on casual sex.
• Therapists report seeing fourteen- and fifteen-year-old boys addicted to porn.
• An Italian study reported that boys who view porn were more likely to report having sexually harassed a peer or having forced someone to have sex.
• Adolescent girls who report using pornography are more likely to report being victims of passive violence such as sexual harassment and rape.
• Today’s consumption of pornography encourages sexual exploitation such as trafficking.
• Adolescents who view pornography are more likely to view women as sexual objects.
• Porn consumption raises the risk of sexually risky behavior.
• Men who use pornography are less attractive to potential female partners.
• Exposure to pornography decreases sexual satisfaction with one’s partner for both men and women.
• Chronic pornography use is associated with depression and unhappiness.
• Users often report disgust and shame at finding themselves stimulated by images that would have once repulsed.

What do we do? For starters, can you help spread the word about the dangers of pornography? Please consider getting a copy of the report, “The Social Costs of Pornography,” and study it. Talk to your friends about it. Share it with your family and church. Blog about it. Or forward this blog to as many people as you can. There needs to be a renewed conversation about how pornography is damaging this generation. We can no longer ignore the most dangerous health hazard to this generation. Our kids deserve better.

peace


b

How HE Loves Us...

Do yourself a favor...take a few minutes to:

1 - Consider the lyrics of this song

2 - Consider them for your life alone

3 - Give some energy to really thanking God for loving you like He does

4 - Learn to accept His love more & more into your life

5 - Stop arguing with Him & telling Him all the reasons He shouldn't love you

6 - Sing it LOUD

peace

b

I'm a People Person...Sort of.

My personality is all about people.

I like being around people...Well, I'm learning, that's not entirely true.  I am realizing more & more, that for me, there are certain people types I like being around & there are certain people types that I don't like being around at all.

For instance...

I like being around confident people, but I don't like being around arrogant people.

I like being around people that find their value in themselves, I don't like being around people who think the things they own makes them more valuable than they really are, or who think it makes them more valuable than someone who doesn't have what they have.

I like being around real people, I don't like being around fake people.

I like being around people with depth, I don't like being around superficial people.

I like being around people that can handle honest conversations, I don't like being around people that can't.

I like being around people that are trying their best, I don't like being around people that go half___ on anything.

I like being around people that have a story (past) & are ok with it, I don't like being around people who judge people that have a story.

I like being around people that offer grace, I don't like being around people who forgot they need it.

I like being around sinners forgiven by grace better than I like being around "holier than thou & never messed up" people.

I'd rather be around someone that fell & knows how to get back up than be around someone that never fell & has some judgment about those that have.

I'd rather hang out with people that recognize we are all messed up in some way, than hang out with people who think they have it all together.

I struggle with people that are consistently sad or down in the dumps or just seem to always be negative. Yet, I also struggle with people that are consistently faking happiness.  Life happens - I like people that face it as it is & move on.  If it's good - enjoy it...if it's not - then admit it, deal with it & then move on.

I really struggle with people who major in the minors...those that point out "things" in others - as if they can't believe that about them...or can't believe they'd do that...or or or...All the time, they forget the judgment they are passing, IMO is worse than the gnat they are choking over.

I'd rather have someone tell me off, than fake like they like me.  I can't stand that obligatory mess...especially among the Followers of Christ.

I like being around tough people better than being around sissies.

I like being around people who live...who overcome...who strive...I don't like being around people give up or who allow themselves to not try because...

I like being around people who go after it...who do their best...I don't like being around people who under achieve & allow the fact that they are better than others to be the reason for not really going after it...

I like being around people who find the limits & go beyond them...I don't like being around people who tell you all the reasons it can't be done.

I like being around people who know what it's really all about...I don't like being around people who should have figured it out by now.

I like being around people who like people...I don't like being around people who don't.

I like being around people who are on a spiritual journey with Christ, I don't like being around people who hide behind their religion.

I like being around people who can have real discussions about God... Jesus...faith...etc.  I don't like being around people who can't.  One seems much more real than the other.

I like being around people who can separate the sin from the sinner...I don't like being around people who can't.

I like being around people who take you for who you are, not for what you've done.  I don't like being around people who can't separate the two.

I could go on - but that's pretty much what had me up early this morning...

I'm a people person...well, sort of.

peace

b

Random Stuff...

Some things drifting around in my head about "church"...

1st - Outside the "obvious things" - what makes church - church?  What I mean is, what are the real values of being in a church?

Like today for instance, we ate breakfast together, not in a sanctuary, but rather a school cafeteria... We had a time of worship - that was really good... a message... IE The typical pieces of a church service & some very non typical pieces.  But it was great...it was worth being there today.  What makes that happen?

I would think that on the front end of this - it would be easy to discount this as not being a "real church service".  Yet, it was a great day.

2nd - If you had never been to a church service, what would you be looking for?

If you felt that you needed to "go to church", what would be your hope when you went?  What would you hope you took away?  This questions is one I'm wrestling with a lot lately.

3rd - As you become part of a church - or I like the term "group of Christ followers", what would be the long term impact on your life?   Why commit to a given place...why show up at a given church for a long time?  Why not just drift around - as long as you go somewhere...?

4th - I wrestle with the whole purpose of "organized religion".  Not in some anti Biblical way...rather in a "we have really Americanized it" kind of way.  Like so many other things, I wonder how far off we've gotten from what Church should be & do on any given Sunday...What are the coree values we can't afford to lose & what are the variables we can tinker with?

5th - I loved today.  What it did...said... How it felt.  The buzz that was in the air.  The excitement of the people.  How real worship was.

IMO - You couldn't leave there & not feel like something real had taken place.  But, what was it?

6th - In trying to figure out what Genesis is being called to be & do - it's these things (all the above) that are part of the wrestling.  What keeps the non-negotiables in tact...How can we adhere to the Biblical pieces & yet expound on them in ways that are not always within the box.  How can we be a place where we are allowing God to do incredible things in & through us & yes do it in greater ways than typically thought of?

Anyway...

just some things that are causing me to lose sleep lately...thought I'd share 'em.

peace

b

I Mean REALLY...

So, a few thoughts...questions...ponderings..etc.

1st - Can, Will & Does God REALLY forgive anything? (Other than blaspheming the Holy Spirit.  Which, when I read the passage on it, means ascribing the works of God's Spirit as being of the Devil.  Unless I misunderstand that passage...there are denominations that do this all the time...?  But that's not the point of this blog).  Outside of blaspheming, Can Will & Does God forgive any & all sins?

We all have an answer to that question already.  If our answer is yes - it has to be yes every time, all the time.  For every person that repents & asks God for forgiveness - the answer has to be the same every time.  YES.

If our answer is NO, then how do we decide on which "sins" or "people" get the forgiveness?  What's our deciding factors?  Who gets it & who doesn't?  It seems so subjective, when we start deciding ourselves - huh?

I think the Bible is clear - He CAN WILL & DOES...but, we are the ones that "grade" or "scale" sins, making some worse than others spiritually.  Therefore, we struggle with this area.

2nd - Can a person REALLY change?  I mean really change.  Again, we have an answer to this question already.  Our answer, determines how we respond to everyone in our life...the good...bad & yes - even the ugly - spiritually speaking of course.

It's a powerful question to consider.  If we aren't careful, we will pull in the secular mentality on this whenever deemed appropriate for any given person or sin.  What I mean is, the world says that: some people can't change...can't quit...can't recover...etc.  The Bible says we can.  So, which do we say?  It's another area that we can be very subjective in.  We can pick certain sins, or sayings from the world's side & apply them over what the Bible says.

Are we really "in recovery" forever or are we truly set free?  Is it true that "once a cheater/addict/liar/____...always a cheater/addict/liar/____" or is the old really gone?  It is true that "they (whoever they are in our life) will never change" or can they walk in the spirit & not fulfill the desires of their flesh?  See what I mean?  The world says one thing, the Word another.  IMO, You can't have both.

We have to be careful how we answer this.  Because, the answer we have for one person - should be good for another as well...actually, not only good for another - good for everyone.

But, my experience is, that we pick & choose the people that "are serious"..."are sincere"...are "something".  And, that something, we use as being the YES or NO for them.

3rd - Am I REALLY psychic?  Easy answer, NO.

And guess what - I don't think you are either.  I don't believe in psychics.

So, why do we think we can read each others minds?  Why do we think we "know what they are really thinking"?  Why do we think we can "tell" something about a person & be able to share that with others...all because of our "psychic ability"?  Of course, if we really need to, we can make it spiritual & then call it "discernment".  That places a whole 'nother spin on it then.  It's like we put "God said" on it - and then for whatever reason, it goes unchallenged...as if it's out of bounds now.  IMO - often, we do that just for that reason...to go unchallenged in our opinion(s) of someone or something.

My Point???

If we aren't careful - the 3 questions listed can all be answered all subjectively & all wrong.  This will only lead us to be highly selective in our view of others sins & their ability to change.  We can put our own idea of what they are really up to, or that they aren't REALLY "_____", & end up with quite a mess of how we do & don't view or accept people in our life &/or church.

We either REALLY believe God CAN WILL & DOES forgive or we REALLY don't.  We either believe people REALLY can change or we REALLY don't.  We either believe we REALLY can read others minds or we REALLY don't.

Which is it?

We can't have it both ways!  REALLY!

So

Choose which side you are on regarding: your opinion of God's forgiveness...People's ability to change & your psychic ability.  AND, REALLY stay there, 100% of the time...every day...every person...every story.  BUT - Don't live on both sides as it fits your comfort zones...it really gets messy.

peace...

b

Doing What Ya Can...Doing What Ya Can't...

So...

One day you decide to go to the gym...or somewhere in life - you decide to do something for some given reason in order to obtain some goal.

Using the gym as an example, do you know how the gym works?  It works like this...

You set these goals - whether they are lifting goals (I want to lift x pounds)...or losing weight goals (I want to lose x pounds)...or overall fitness goals (I want to be able to...).  No matter the goal you set - they all have some end point in mind.  The end point being a place where you are not currently at in some given area.  Or saying it another way...the end point is a place you can't get to at the present moment, but it's where you want to be eventually.

NOW - here's the real deal.  Do you know how you DO get there?

By doing things you can do...IE you do what you can - in order to eventually do what you can't.

You might not be able to lift the goal weight - but you lift weights you can handle in order to get to lift weights you CAN'T handle - yet.  You can't lose all the weight at once - so you lose a little at a time, until your goal is achieved...so on & so on.

What am I saying?  You do what you can - so eventually, you do what you can't.  That's how it all works.

Now broaden that to any area of life...

Finances...Marriage...Personal..Spiritual...Physical...Emotional...Business...Academic...Family...etc...

No matter the area, no matter the goal...we follow the same path - do what you can - so eventually you do what you can't.

Don't allow the things you can't do get in the way of the things you can do.  Those things you can't do are either stumbling blocks or stepping stones.

Instead, identify those things you can do...& do them...until you are able to do what you currently can't.

peace

b

Genesis...You can join us - IF you can find us...

"Where's Waldo"...

Where's Genesis???  Genesis is on the road again.

In Genesis' short history, we have now been to 7 different locations!  That's a lot.  And we are moving to the 7th this Sunday.

Until June of this year, we were at Great Bridge High...which was our preference.  However, we had to vacate the building while they upgraded the HVAC system.  So, for 5 months, we were at Regal 13 Greenbrier.

NOW

Starting this Sunday, Nov. 6th, we will be back at Great Bridge High...they finished the HVAC & we are now able to move back to the High School.

I loved the theater.  However, there are a few things the High School does for us that the Theater couldn't.

1st - the High School is about $30,000 less expensive annually!  That's a lot of money.  And, if we kept growing like we are, we would have to have added another theater - which would cost an additional $15,000 annually.  So, if for no other reason - this is reason enough.

2nd - the High School gives us a bigger time slot on Sunday's.  So we can have a better "time of community" & friendship than we could at Regal.  It felt rushed to "get out" when the movie attenders were "waiting to get in".

3rd - the Children's environment will be better than what we were able to do before.  This area in particular has make HUGE strides & will flourish in a more fitting environment.

There are other pros...

AND there are a few cons...

But, we are on a journey & this is part of the story for now.

So, beginning this Sunday, Nov. 6th, at 10:00AM we will be rocking it at Great Bridge High School - again.

Join us IF you can find us...

peace

b