Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
I wrote about forgiveness a few blogs ago...I read it again & felt there are still lessons I am learning in the area of forgiveness...If you missed the 1st - it might add insight to this one...it can be found scrolling down the list 6 or 7 blogs.
But, my focus on this - is the one doing the forgiving...& why should I/we forgive anyway?
1 - Because I have to.
The reason given for "having to" is often "the Bible tells me I have to". That really got me thinking about this whole deal.
1st - Do I really have to. I don't think so. Now, yes, the Bible & Jesus of the Bible tells me I have to - but truth I really don't have to. I still have a choice...to feel as though I don't have a choice seems like it negates something.
I think if that's really our answer...we are missing something in the "act of forgiving". Is forgiveness merely a mental declaration? Can it be? Is it something I have to do to be "Biblically correct"? Does our heart play any role in it at all? If it does, then "forgiving because we have to" is not really dealing with our heart at all...or is it?
I'm not sure...I'm wrestling with these answers too.
Saying "I have to", feels like I'm a prisoner to it or something victim like. Like I am some puppet that is merely having to play some role I really don't want to play...while God's word pulls my strings. See what I mean?
Isn't this whole faith thing all about being transformed into Christ-likeness...as opposed to having to do something because...
Anyway...
Another answer often given...
2 - What if "they don't deserve it".
How do we know that? Typically, we tie that logic to what we think they should have done to "earn forgiveness"... or something along those lines of thought.
When focusing ONLY on us - the one needing to forgive, the problem is...no matter what my logic is - I am still dealing with un-forgiveness in my heart.
When that's true, the one that won't forgive is the one that is not free.
Biblically, forgiveness is all about a debt being cancelled out. For humanity in general, Christ died to cancel the debt of sin off our lives. Did/do any of us deserve it?
However, deserving or not, like Him, we have to make the choice (sometimes a very hard choice) to forgive...meaning to RELEASE the person from a debt you think they owe you. Now, granted, they might really owe you...or they might not have any idea how to "pay" or "ask for forgiveness"...but forgiveness says, whether you "pay off your debt" or not, I will release you from it.
The answer that makes the greatest sense...is about Torment.
When we won't forgive someone because of (fill in blank)...it keeps us in remembrance of them...that...it...ie - in bondage or torment...
To forgive for this reason feels like freedom to me. It's like "I choose to go free from..." as opposed to "I have to because". This feels like a heart choice...which is what Christ taught.
Christ said "I have to forgive in the heart".
I guess what I'm trying to say is this...if forgiveness really doesn't exist in the heart - I don't think it exists at all. I can say it...claim it...declare it...etc... but if I don't have it within - I simply don't have it where Christ said it has to be - in the heart.
Truth is - some people... some things... are hard to forgive. That's partly why I think it has to be something deep within to be real. Somewhere within - where only you & God can go... a place where only He can get to... a place He knows about...
I don't know...
But I believe we can say we forgive all we want... we can "have to" all we want... but until we choose to release someone &/or something within our heart by choice - I'm not sure anything has really happened.
On the cross, Jesus said "Father forgive them...they don't know what they are doing". At the hands of those that abused/maimed/mistreated/KILLED...he forgave...And seemingly knowing how hard it would be for His Father to do the same - he speaks it into existence for Him...also acknowledging that, though we choose our actions...we really don't know what they heck we are doing.
Just sharing some things I'm wrestling with myself...
peace
b
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